I was wondering if you can recommend any meditation program/disk that focuses on eliminating negative self talk. I’m not sure if anything like that exists, but I figured I’d ask.
It was serendipity that TD sent me this question among the 100s I’ve received from the September Sweepstakes and new member surveys. I was just thinking that I needed to reinstall the anti-negative self-talk regimen in my own life.
I would also like to add that TD gets a free meditation mp3 for having the selected question of this inaugural Meditation Techniques Mailbag.
What is negative self-talk and why should you work on eliminating it?
Obviously anything with the word “negative” tends to be something undesirable. Negative self-talk is the voice of self-doubt in your head. The voice might undermine your confidence, give you anxiety, keep you from taking a chance, cause you to undermine or end relationships, and a host of other undesirable results.
Negative self-talk can can range from hearing “everyone is going to laugh at you if you do that”, to “if you try that and fail you will be a loser”, or even things such as “how could anybody love you”. These are all very unpleasant things to hear out loud, never mind if you are hearing them in your head with your own voice!
The thing that fascinates me about negative self-talk is often we don’t even know how this voice inside us starting saying these things to begin with. But since it comes bubbling up on auto-pilot, the negative self-talk can sabotage us in so many unpleasant ways. So if you notice that you hear any negative self-talk, it is worth the effort to get rid of it.
Meditation Techniques and Personal Development Processes to Eliminate Negative Self-Talk
Now that we all agree negative self-talk has got to go, how should we get rid of it? Here are the best resources I’ve personally experienced and why. Please keep in mind that you need to read the books referred to in order to get maximum benefit. I am summarizing their techniques that worked best for me in this situation.
There’s a reason this book has sold 40 million copies. Louise is the greatest. She is someone who used the techniques in this book to recover from some very awful personal circumstances. After she was back to “normal” (whatever that means), she then uses her techniques to go on to thrive as a best-selling author and the creator of the publishing house called Hay House.
In the book there is great information on affirmations and spiritual treatments for many conditions that could be ailing you. We’ve all heard about how affirmations can help us and Louise is a great resource for that. However, what is most applicable to your question and might really rock your world is 2 of her processes called “Mirror Work” and “I approve of myself.”
“Mirror Work” involves saying positive statements about yourself, and your affirmations, out loud while looking yourself in the eye in a mirror. When you practice saying your affirmations this way, it very quickly comes to light which ones you believe and which ones you are just saying. If you don’t buy the affirmation you are saying, you’ll feel kind of embarrassed and stupid saying it out loud. That is where you need the work and focus!
These affirmations that give you the embarrassment need to be repeated and thought of often. You also might benefit from writing supportive affirmations around that topic to help strengthen your belief in yourself.
“I approve of myself” is something you should start saying to yourself all the time. Think of the movie Rainman when Dustin Hoffman kept saying “Gotta see Wapner” (or however he put it). You want to be repeating this to yourself a few hundred times a day.
When I worked at a place I affectionately called “The Dungeon”, and desperately desired a different place of employment, I would chant “I approve of myself” to myself (silently, I had co-workers in similar misery in cubes next to me) 100 times every hour. 45 days later I was making twice the pay while working from home in a much more pleasant environment from a job that literally came to me.
The skeptic will say that there could not possibly be a connection between what I said to myself in my head and my job situation. To those skeptics I’d reply that I intuitively know that “I approve of myself” worked. But even if someone somehow proved to me that I was intuitively wrong, and it was really something else that made the new job situation happen, I felt better about myself and the job situation improved, so why does it matter?
Kurt Leland’s book The Multidimensional Human.
I love this book for a lot of reasons and one of them is the exercise on eliminating thought forms. With time and practice, you can be performing this visualization while you are reading, walking, or many other activities.
What I am going to describe is an extremely condensed version of the exercise that I am able to do because I’ve done it about 50 times. You need to read the book to get full effectiveness and to understand more fully the process and options in this exercise.
“Dissolving Thought Forms” involves visualizing and/or feeling your energy body. You then also visualize a pair of nonphysical hands called “Energy Hands”. Have these hands push all the negative thoughts, black clouds, grey crud, etc, out of your energy body. I like to picture some massive iron grinding machine that incinerates all the gray/black crud I can find into lava that is now outside my energy body. This “expelled lava” can be dropped in a storage bin, swallowed up by a field of lotus flowers, or stored however you like. You then blast it away with a weapon that you visualize of your choice.
It is especially enjoyable to basically play a mental video game of “nonphysical crud shootem up” and find you feel more positive and charged up after.
Alan Tutt’s Embraces Belief Entrainment mp3s
I became an affiliate of Alan’s after buying the Embraces program and trying it out for myself. The program is a series of mp3s that allow you to program your mind while you work. You pick a topic, such as self-esteem, personal prosperity, business success, etc., and then you have 12 different ways to get the message delivered to your brain.
The 12 different ways involve hearing a male voice, or a female voice, or both voices, and then listening with either music or tones. You turn down the volume on the mp3 until it does not affect your concentration, and you can work or whatever else you wish to do while the affirmative statements are read to you.
Alan’s program is one of the only ones I’ve seen that takes into the account that we need to keep trying different meditation techniques in order to get the maximum benefit. Think of all the semi-fit joggers you know that run the same 3 miles on the same route at the same pace every day. They are always wondering why they haven’t got into top shape. They need to mix it up! Try sprinting once in awhile, experiment with different diets, run alternative distances, etc.,etc.
Your personal growth process presents the same challenge. If you find one process and just do the same one over and over again without regard to your mental state of mind, your body’s energy level, your mood, the available time you have, then your results will not be optimal.
I listened to the Embraces program the past 2 days while writing, they are around 30 minutes a track so you can pop on headphones and work while improving yourself…a win-win situation.
The wood chipper meditation-
I first experienced this meditation at The Monroe Institute. I’ll never forget it because during the meditation I bent a spoon! The limiting belief I was working on during the meditation was “I cannot bend a spoon”. You can easily substitute your negative self-talk statement of choice.
The steps to this are very easy. But keep in mind that I was using a specially designed binaural beat meditation (I have several for sale in the store).
1. Spend at least 10 minutes in meditation.
2. Picture a wood chipper. I always think of the gory scene from Fargo when someone’s leg is getting stuffed into the wood chipper! Hopefully you have a more pleasant wood chipper, whatever that means.
3. Think of the limiting belief or negative self-talk statement you no longer desire to have.
4. Allow yourself to feel it.
5. Take that feeling, which you can picture in your mind however you’d like, and push it mentally through the wood chipper. I like to picture a weighty sludge-like cloud of slime, almost as though my limiting item is a life-life slug of about 3 feet in length. It’s a nasty bastard, fyi.
6. Keep grinding it through the chipper until you are satisfied with the “nonphysical mulch” you have created.
7. Get rid of the mulch by having it blow away, burning it, burying it, whatever strikes your fancy.
8. Repeat for any other beliefs or negative self-talk statements you wish to eliminate.
I can only offer theories on why some of these things work. It seems that there are parts of our human experience that respond better to visual imagery, other parts respond to subliminal or under-the-radar programming, and other parts need physical reality out loud statements. My advice is to do all 4 of these processes and see which one works best for you.
adminon September 21, 2012 Reply
TD replied back to me and said-
Your response was much more thorough than I was expecting and they’re all good suggestions. What I like most is that you addressed not only the Eliminating issue, but the inevitable issue of creating something to fill that void. In essence, those negative thoughts/self talk are best handled by replacing them with something positive. Very insightful.
Irina Vasilievaon October 25, 2012 Reply
I just added your web page to my bookmarks. I enjoy reading your posts. Thank you!
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